I will die if I could not forget Yen

It is not the fact that I love her but it is a problem with myself, my pride, my ignorance. She is just a reason.
I want to revenge. I am failing to have a girlfriend and she is the reason for me to keep that status.

It brings no good., I get nothing from it except ignorance.
I do not get anything from it. How stupid I am. I should die if I am not intelligent enough to get something.
I am serious.
If I can not be stronger than her, I should die. If I could get her out of my mind, it makes no sense. Just show my enormous ignorance. Kill it or it will kill me.
Shit. I am fed up with her. I hate thinking about her now. I hate everything reminding me of her. I do not hate her but hate the fact that I am thinking about her. I really hate it. Truly and damnly, deeply hate that.
I hate that and I will change that.
Get something. Be useful.