The only thing makes me happy is: WHAT I GET

Be pragmatic. The only thing I need to consider is: WHAT I GET. It is not a bad thing. In fact, it is Rational and Efficient, Effective. Do something USEFUL.

That is the only thing I concern when I do anything. WHAT I GET?
Adopt some Western views which are great and superior to Hypocritical ethics of the East.
Even become a monk , a priest must know What I get or I will get lost, lose everything and a failure.
Become a monk to get a lot not to lose.
WHAT I GET. That is all needed to account for my actions for my work, for my time and efforts. I do not do to get nothing.

Shit I put too much shit into my head . USELESS stuff, empty stuff with no meaning at all. I learned to lie all my life to conceal my real aim, my truth to pursue my benefits.
I considered benefits to myself as a dirty thing and get confused, lost. Damn. Now I got the new views and see no darkness at all. It is clear . Goals are clear and definite. I will hit it. Consider What I get. It is logical and rational.
I only love something If I could get something out of it.